Surprise Surprise

Well I'm going to start to blog ever day with my newest surprise. I'm a Mom of Two Boys( 7 year old and a 14 month old). Life is good. My oldest is always helping me with his little bro from running the stinky diapers outside and always being my second set of eyes when little man is just about to get into something or sticking the many unknown things in to his mouth. And as I'm typing this my oldest just came up to me and I just read to him what I typed. He then said "Mom can you type this... That your sons never forget to love their Mom and Dad. " How precious my big guy is. He amazes me with the things that he comes up with. I thank God for my boys everyday.

Well I'm going to start from the beginning. My DH and I will be married for 10 years this May. I remember going to Pre-Cana Class (a class you go to before you get married in the Catholic Church) and the leader asked many questions from how compatible you both are, to your goals in life, to if you want children, and if so how many. Our assignment was to write each other a letter (which I still have) answering those questions. My DH wrote that he wanted to have kids and that he never wanted anybody to know about our plans. He didn't like anybody knowing our business. My DH is very private which is the total opposite of me. He said that he can't wait till we started a family together and that the number was up to us. But we both knew that one was never an option. Well we were married for two years when we started trying for a baby. Taking only a a few months of negative tests I finally got the BFP ( Big Fat Positive) and we were going to be parents. Our Family and friends were thrilled and excited. Then on November 22, 2000 we had our baby boy 8 lbs 10 oz 20 in long. Life was good. Life was happy. But Tyler was a kid that got sick easily. And when he got sick a simple cold turned into croup which had me and my DH running into the ER with our baby in a blanket laboring to breathe. It is scary when you see your baby in a croup tent (it's a hospital crib with clear plastic around it being filled with steam that you put your baby in and it's zipped close.) I remember watching him in there scared to death. Then that evening as he was in the tent for several hours he started crying and the cough sounded better so I picked him up and he was drenched (the steam gets you very wet) and I wrapped him up in a blanket and we snuggled on a little hospital cot and we went right to sleep. Croup is scary for you, as the parent, and the baby especially when they are so young with a small windpipe. But I feel I'm an expert with it now. The key is not to panic which I do so easily. I also remember another incident with croup and we had to go to South Suburban Hospital. My DH raced to hospital avoiding lights as I tried to calm our Baby down. Well right away they rushed him into a ER room giving him a breathing treatment and steroids. This time he responded to treatment right away, because as they explained to us he was getting bigger and that the airways were getting bigger, too. I remember my DH on the gurney holding my son. They were both sleeping and I was sitting on one of those cold plastic leather chair and Thanking God for once again being with my son and healing him. Then all of the sudden I had this sense of Peace. I Believe that his Great Grandma, my best friend, was with him and kissing him on the cheek from Heaven. Well after life happening good times and bad the years flew by. And it dawned on us our DS was 5 and we weren't getting any younger. And the question arose, Are we having anymore kids? We agreed that it was time to start planning for #2. Conceiving #2 was a little more harder than the first. I was convinced that we were having fertility problems. I remember crying to my Mom ( at Dunkin Donuts) that once again I got my period. And her response what that #1 she was surprised (we never told anyone we were trying, Remember that was my DH #1 Rule) and #2 if it's in God's plan for us it will happen. Then after 9 months of worry the blessed moment arrived. I remember taking a test and it was positive. My Mom was over at the time and I put my DS in a Shirt that said I'm going to be....(on the Front) and (the Back )said..... A Big Brother. She read it and said, "Oh that's nice" and then got it and started getting all excited. Then I started jumping up and down and, of course, her telling me stop that I could hurt myself. I'll blog about my mom at another time. She's wonderful and deserves her own page. The pregnancy was wonderful until the ultra-sound. I remember that moment when you see your baby for the first time. The Tech put the goop on my tummy and the scan began. There is the head, the heart, the spine, the leg and do you want to know the sex. My hubby and I looked at one another and agreed. Oh it was going to be my little girl because my DS wanted to have a little sister. Cause that's what the Chinese Gender Calendar said Right? Well the tech said here are the legs and the little butt and here's his little peepie. What? Peepie? I know what that looks like it's got to be wrong. Well we left the room as my Mom is sitting in the waiting room I look right at her and start bawling. It's a Boy I kept saying and what is her first response. Is he healthy?????? I was so mad and embarrassed with myself how could I have even been upset about gender Health is the and most important thing. Well I got over it and kept a positive attitude during my pregnancy and picking the perfect boys name. It was so hard and stressful. I remember the 3 of us (DH, DS & Me) were in the K-mart parking lot going to shop and we came up with the name and we all put our hand in and agreed. It was so special. I remember going to the Dr during the week of my due date it was a Tuesday and I was set up to be induced on Saturday. I was so sore and so done. Then on Thursday morning at 1 am I was starting to get little cramps. I didn't know what real labor was because my first was induced and we had several runs to the hospital for false labor for this one. So I watched TV and kept telling myself not to over react its probably gas or something. After staying up an hour with pains that wouldn't stop and that were coming every 5 minutes. It definitely wasn't gas. I woke up my DH and he was so groggy just telling me to relax and go to sleep. I'm yelling this time it's real. Well he got out his watch and started to time them. Yep 5 minutes apart. It is happening. IS this it???? Then he called the Dr and the Dr said Yep sounds like she's in labor meet me at the hospital. Well Bob calls my Mom and tells her not to meet us at the Hospital to meet as a home because he didn't want to wake up my DS. Well she's 25 minutes away. I just remember holding my stomach and sitting at the kitchen table and telling DH the baby is coming. And of course he's like calm down it's probably not time yet. Well my Mom comes not even looking at her no hugs etc. I rushed to the Car. I'm telling DH just to go through every light and get me to that hospital. We finally get the Hospital and the doors that they told us to go into were locked. I'm losing it now at this time. So Finally we get to the right entrance they get me into a wheel chair and off we went. The nurse is asking me so what do you think your at 4-5 cm dilated? Well we get up to the room they hook me up Dr checks me and no I'm not 4 cm not 5 cm I'm at 8 and my water breaks. Well then all the stupid questions they start asking you and I'm in pain. No Drugs. And all I kept on saying is, what my DS would say, the F_ _ _, word. I keep on apologizing but darn that pain. So the Dr tells the nurse as he's done filling out all his paper work, "I'm going to lay down call me when she's at 9cm dilated. Well I am asking for Drugs and they are trying to get me some. I'm telling the nurse that I want to push. She checks me and then starts running down the hall after the Dr yelling that I am at 10 and his head is right there. I'm like crap here we go and mind you still no drugs all the equipment is coming out lights are turning on and here we go. With about 7 big pushes of sheer agony. Baby #2 arrives at 8lbs 15 oz and 22 inches long. Now mind you I got into the Hospital at 3 am and #2 arrived at 5:20 am. Thank God we got there on time. Now my Littlest Son is 14 months walking, running and very curious. He's the greatest Gift I received from God besides his brother. I hate that I was so upset about the U/S because he's the best Boy ever.

Now for the Surprise of our lives. We had the best New Years Eve party with the boys. We let my oldest stay up till midnight and we had a little party with my littlest one at 8 pm before he went to bed. We took out our notebook and filled it with all the positive things that we wanted for this new year. My resolutions were to be a better house wife especially with the cooking end, and to lose 20 lbs by doing the South Beach Diet. Life was good I was feeling motivated and positive. The diet I started after Thanksgiving so I already lost 18 lbs. Now just 15 lbs. more. Well as Jan. continued our New Years Resolutions were actually working out. We stayed home instead of going out to dinner. And for the first time I actually made Mashed Potatoes by hand. I always used the box HA HA. Then I started getting really tired lately. So bad that I felt I needed to lay down when My little guy took his naps. This is weird. Then I looked at the Calendar Ah That's why I'm tired my monthly friend is coming. Well that day came and went. My first thought was that my thyroid was off again. I have hypo-thyroid ever since I delivered my oldest son which causes all kinda of weird symptoms in your body. So I told my DH that I was late and his response too was it has to be your thyroid, because you can't be pregnant we only did it once this month and literally day 7 of my cycle "the Safe time", according to Natural Family planning that we followed since the day we got married and it will be 10 years this May. So my DH had to work Sat, Jan 26 and I took my DS to CCD (Religious Education Class for Catholics). Me and my Little guy went to the Walgreen's just to ease my mind I'm going to take a test it will be negative and I'll go to the Dr. and see what else could be wrong. Well I even bought the generic brand test which is funny because when I was trying with both boys I couldn't even wait the few days after my period I always bought the expensive test that I could test 4 days early and with both of them it was the faintest line that I would buy couple more to test again. So I put my Lil DS in the playpen and went to test. I just remember making my deposit on the test stick and before I could even put it on the sink because it takes 5 minutes Right? Wrong! Before I could even put it down I was getting the darkest + sign I ever seen. At this moment I start to freak NO NO This can't be. I called my DH even he doesn't believe it. You must be doing it wrong, he says. How can I do it wrong I replied it's pretty simple Hun. Now the shock sets in and of course all the things come flying into my head. My baby is only 14 months how am I going to do this? DH sister is getting married in Nov, I wanted to dance and look thin for her wedding!! My Dad is retiring in Oct. we were going to have a party now I'm going to be having a baby I was so done. But still can't cry at this point just in total shock. So I call the Dr that morning, and he says to come in for a test. My nurses are wonderful they both told me to calm down till we get the results. I swear I deposit my specimen and wait in the waiting the room. I'm sitting there like I'm waiting to hear if i have a serious disease or something. Yep it's positive. Life couldn't be more chaotic lately. My DH is looking for a new job because the Benefits stink and now I'm Pregnant. It was only once how could this be. After weeks of not being able to even think about it because still I was just so numb. I remember thinking how can I tell my Mom that's the only person I kept thinking about. Is she going to be happy, scared for me, or just like what were you thinking????? I thought I would wait until I was farther along to tell her but I went to the Dr on Monday and Thursday her and I went to the Cracker Barrel for Breakfast. I couldn't even look at her in the eye I felt like a 17 year old girl that made a mistake. Then all she asked is so when you went to the Dr. how's your thyroid? I look at her and just started bawling? She's like what's wrong are you okay??? I look down at my lap and say Mom, I'm pregnant. She's like really I thought you were going to tell me you had cancer or something. I wipe my tears and I'm like What? She's like I knew something was wrong but with all the things that I thought was wrong that was in my head being pregnant is the best. But Mom it's the wrong time, look my Lil guy is so young. She says yeah your going to fine. Yes it's not in your plan but the baby is in God's plan. She just held me in the car in the parking lot as I cried. Yep the first time I could release the nerves and I cried. I felt so much better. I couldn't of asked for a better moment. She was so positive and supportive. She kept saying that everything will work out and that she would do anything she could to help. I love my Mom more than words can say.

So here we are I'm now 6 weeks pregnant and I still can't believe it totally. I have sickness all day long. I went to the Dr. last Wed. and they confirmed the pregnancy again and gave me a due date of Oct 3 my best girlfriends Anniversary and the day after my DH birthday. The number associated with this baby is 10. This year is my 10 year anniversary, my MIL 10th Grandchild, and Oct being the 10 month. Kinda of cool. So Now I'm just going to journal my Symptoms and thoughts throughout this 9 months carrying my truly a miracle baby. And what's funny again with this surprise of ours it fits my blog title. Everything else that I thought was such a big deal ......seem so small.

A little about me....

I thought I would let everyone know a little about myself. So here it goes....

I'm married to my soul mate of 10 years in May. Yep during the honeymoon in Hawaii we agreed that we would go back in 10 years. Wow has life changed since that vacation. We were so optimistic that together we would be so much more financially stable and organized with our life and after 10 years I don't even feel somewhat close to our goal.

I'm a SAHM with 2 boys. My oldest son is 7 and in first grade. My youngest son is 14 months. They are such a blessing in our lives. I still always have in the back of mind that I wanted a Girl but God knows me better than I do and gave me boys. But I always say to myself that their is a special place in heaven for a Mom with more that 1 boy. You Boy Moms know what I mean.

I'm a daughter of 2 wonderful parents that have been married for 39 years. They truly have always been happy together. I always seen my mom take care of dad. I think she still has never eaten a warm meal from running and doing for my dad. And I promised myself that I would never be like that with my husband. Yes Bob and I have a quite different relationship than my parents we are equals. But as I see my parents now as an adult It's just something that she loves doing for him. And that he's willing to keep accepting. LOL.

I have one older sister. This is a complicated relationship. We were always close as children. We didn't have too many cousins that were our age. Both my parents come from small families. So it was pretty much just her and I among adults all the time. We were raised by a loving but strict Dad that you should be seen and not heard. Boy and now that my Dad is a Grandpa has that changed. Anyway, my sister and I became teenagers and then the true petty fighting began. The usual who is borrowing my clothes and does she have to hang out me I'm the oldest bickering. But when the friends went home and their was nothing to do. We would always enjoy each others company. Then my sister went to College. I think it really changed her for the better. She would want me to come and visit. We had a lot to talk about and things were good. Then after those years went by things got weird again. I met my husband and he has 3 sisters. I was so excited a big family! What was that? So of course I ran with it. I loved talking to them hanging out and laughing together. I think my sister felt left out and was upset that I did have so much in common with my DH sisters. One of my biggest wishes is that I had a close relationship with my sister for me as well as my kids. My kids rarely see her and we live 5 mins away from each other. I wish we were the Hallmark card. But it's real life and she has her own family and life and really doesn't want to include us in it. But one thing is for certain when she needs me I'm there in an instant. No questions asked. I love her and miss the relationship we once had.

I have a small home but it's cozy, welcoming, and full of Love.

I'm an Aunt to 4 nieces and 5 nephews.

My best friend is still my best friend from grade school. I don't know what I would do without her.

I'm a God-Mother to my Niece, my Nephew, and my best girlfriends son.

My favorite food is pizza.

My favorite restaurant is Fuddruckers.

...seem so small.

Seem so small my very first post. I'm so excited. I never thought of myself as a person with her own blog. Yeah I always read other people's blog to get tips and ideas, but never thought of myself being the one to create my own. It all started when my friend Kelly sent me an e-mail asking me have I ever thought of writing my own blog and what I thought about it. Right away my first response was me never don't have enough time. Well Kel did it she made her own blog, serenity cottage. Well every time I would go on my computer first I would check my e-mail then I would check Kel's blog. We don't live that close together, but every time I would read her blog I felt closer to her than ever. Seeing her kids, seeing her house, and her new ideas and tips. It was a new adventure every time I would log onto her blog. Then as the New Year approached I was thinking how I was feeling bad that I never am good at writing down or scrap booking the key dates and achievements my kids and my family accomplishments and how cool would it be for me now to have a record of that. So here it is I may not be the best at making the coolest pages but this is me and my family and my ideas. It will be a bit of everything my family, our accomplishments, our dreams, and my concerns and worries. Seem so small came from a long soul searching experience. The meaning behind this title is that when you think about how something in your life seems so large or important that when you really think about it it can seem so small and that what you thought was so important at the time can seem so insignificant. So here we go and I hope who ever reads my blog if any enjoy it as much as I do creating it. And Thank You Kelly for giving me the idea and telling me to do something for myself too. You are a very good friend to me who understands me very very well. Thanks Again. Also thank you to my wonderful Husband, Bob and two gorgeous boys who have support me in anything I do. I love you guys.